Easier said than done

Easier said than done
Going through a real situation teaches you more for sure than just listening to a whole lecture.

Today Allah made me realise that money for sure never buys happiness,  but you gain it if you deserve it and if you are content enough to be pleased by Allah.
Yeah I can admit that I mistaken and I do enough faults to make you retreat. و ما أبرىء نفسي ان النفس ﻷمارة بالسوء
Yes I confess that I am not a perfect person and I wasn't peaceful enough, and I wasn't having precisely the right intentions, but still am I that bad? I have no clue for an answer. I only feel like that lost person who is wallahy craving for Allah's guidance and is waiting for any extra mercy to be bestowed upon her from Allah.
I need him and now I do really admit that wallahy I am nothing without him and I can say that this person writing that is a one that needs Allah's help....not wants but needs.
Yeah I am sorry. I beg anyone who I insulted to forgive me and even if you didn't at least I will do my best to start with peace. I know I may not deserve any forgiveness, but you certainly are better than me if you allow me to be back in your list of good people.
I didn't mean to harm or annoy you...it was only something involuntary, but looking back at what I did, I can entirely admit that I am a very cruel person who seriously needs hidayah.

Pray for me to get better, because I am much worse inside then what eyes see.